Road Trippin With Rachael

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Let’s talk about homemaking. What comes to mind when you hear the word? Is it…

• A stay at home mom
• homesteader
• homeschool parent
• cleaning
• volunteering (during the day)
• baking
• large family
• general aestetic of a 1950’s housewife

If you were to search the term “Homemaking” Google defines it as “the creation and management of a home, especially as a pleasant place in which to live.”

In other words, anyone who creates a pleasant place to live is a homemaker.

However, we like to think that homemaking is something that only conservative, stay-at-home mom’s who homeschool do – at least that seems to be the trend across much of social media.

I’m single and I consdier myself to be a homemaker. I love making my home into a place where people will feel welcome. They can come in, have a treat (likely a baked good), sit on my couch, and feel comfortable and welcomed into my space.  If you don’t think that I’m a homemaker, let’s take a moment to consider some of the things that I do for fun:

• I bake – yes it is sourdough. No, I did not learn to bake bread during the pandemic; I learned while I was in elementary school
• I make my own natural cleaners – vinegar, baking sode, and lemon juice – a dream combo.
• I cook – there’s variety in what I make.
• I sew, knit, crochet, and quilt – yes, I already know that I am a grandma.

Believe it or not, I actually really enjoy being home and  and in the space I’ve createed. The only difference is that I happen to be single and don’t have any children.  As I say in my YouTube video, I bring home the bacon…and I fry it. More sassy comments can be found on my YouTube channel Road Trippin with Rachael.

Now, before we get too far into this blog, let me say that I have absolutely no problem with someone choosing to be a SAHM. I’ve got friends who are blessed enough to be able to do that. Nor do I have any problem with families that have chosen to homeschool. I have a problem, with the stereo type when it comes to taking care of a living space.

The Problem with the Stereo-type

Here is the problem: if we are going to consider homemaking to be something that wives and mothers do, then we are discounting anyone who is responsible for keeping up there home, but doesn’t meet these criteria. 

There are multiple groups of people that get left out with the stereo-type. We ignore those who are married and don’t have children. We are ignoring the married with children, but both spouses work outside of the home. We are also ignoring the non-traditional marriages where it is the woman who is working outside the home and the husband is doing all the homemaking things. And, as you saw from the title of this blog, those who are single who are doing everything themselves. 

Maybe you’re the problem

If we are just talking about singleness and homemaking, and that bothers someone, like they want to argue that you can’t be a homemaker unless you are married and a stay-at-home mom, then I would like to propose two things.

One: They have a problem. I’m not exactly sure what that problem would be from a pyschological perspective, but there is definitely a problem. My marital status should not be a concern of yours, specifically when it comes to how I: cook, clean, decorate, or entertain guests I’ve welcomed in. If me, or anyone else, being single bothers you that problem needs to be address and you should really figure out why you are feeling that way.

I will be the first to say that stereo-types exist for a reason. Afterall, traditionally up until the last forty years most women did stay home. However, as most of you should be aware, ynless you have been under a rock, the economy is making it increasingly difficult for that lifestyle and those who do still make that choice have to be willing to forgo some crature comforts that have become common place. That is with married couples with children.  But for those who are single, we are the bread winners and the ones who are baking the bread. Staying home to take care of he house isn’t an option because if we aren’t bring home the bacon, there will be nothing to fry.

Two: If the problem is that you just want someone to experience the joys that come from being married with a family, and you want to assist them in that endeavor – ask first and then help with their permission.

On a personal note, I would like to be a wife and mother. I would love to have a big family. If a married friend were to ask if they could set me up (assuming that they know what I am looking for and what I am attracted to) I would be all for it.  I think those who are bothered by single homemakers would find that for those of us who are older (I’m in my thirties) we have standards, but we’re old enough to realize that there are a lot of thigs that can be negotiated. Of course I have preferences – who doesn’t. There are certain personality traits and physical characteristics that I find more attractive, but that is completely normal. And FYI – you should be attracted to you spouse.

The Point

Here is my main point: your marital status doesn’t determine what you enjoy, how you define yourself, or what you do with your home. If you are tkaing the time to cultivate a space that you find comfortable and inviting, regardless of whether youare married, single, or have children, you are a homemakinger.  LIf you want to get married, I say live your life open to opportunities, but don’t eveer think that you are less because you don’t have a ring on your finger.