Road Trippin With Rachael

Before we get into this I want to be clear that I am not a parent. However, I am someone who has served in children’s ministry, has a background in education, and has a VERY high opinion of the role that parents are supposed to play in the spiritual and faith formation of their children. This blog post will be my opinion based on observation and study. 

Children’s church is one of those topics that can be very touchy. People have some VERY strong opinions when it comes to what to do with children during a church service. Some churches will choose to give parents the option of leaving their children in extended session if they are babies or toddlers, and then to children’s church through elementary school, others will elect to have nothing available, and there will be some variation of something in between.

Although there is no wrong answer for whether children’s church is a good or bad idea, there is a definite correct answer for who should have the burden of responsibility for a child’s faith and spiritual development. It is not for me to determine what a specific church should do – as I am not on their staff – but I think we should consider the pros and cons of the two ends of the spectrum. 

What are the Pros to Children’s Church?

1. Age Appropriateness – if children are in a service that is developmentally appropriate, then it is beneficial for them to be learning in that environment.
2. Movement – we all know it can be hard for kids to sit quietly. Even the most well behaved children will want to get up and move. This is normal and natural, as they don’t have the attention span to sit for an extended period of time. 
3. Frees up the Parents – if parents aren’t having to make sure their son or daughter is entertained or being quiet, it frees them up to pay more attention during the service.
4. Less Distraction – kids get the wiggles – they just do – and that can be distracting to those around them. Children’s church, because it is separate, allows for everyone in the service to not be distracted by the wiggling littles. 

What are the Cons of Children’s Church?

What are the Cons of Children’s Church?

1. All the ages are together. There’s a difference between a kindergartener and a fourth grader. What they can handle and how things are explained to them are different. Since ages are normally together during children’s church it leads to a one-room schoolhouse mentality – someone isn’t getting what they need and it is normally the older kids. 
2. They don’t see the body. Since the kids are not in the service, they do not get to see the body of Christ worshipping together. Some churches will have kids in the service during the musical part of worship, but not during the sermon – however, it’s ALL worship. 
3. No communion. For any children who have made a profession of faith, if they are not in the service when communion is taken, then they likely aren’t participating. If they are believers, they should be taking communion with the church.
4. Mentality of Separation. A children’s church is not a church – they are not a local body of believers. By separating the children from the rest of the body, it fosters the thought of there being two separate churches in the same building -the children and the adults – which then makes it harder to transition a child out of children’s church.

What are the Pros of NOT having a Children’s Church?

1. Worship is a family affiar. By having kids in the whole service, they get to be with their families, observe how their parents are during the music and sermon, and they can see how the rest of the body interacts.
2. Teaches them about the sacred. By having them in the service, they can learn that it is good to have a special time set aside to worship God with other believers. And yes, it does teach them about acceptable behavior.
3. Opens the door for conversations. Good parents ask their kids what they learned at church, why not extend that to the service? Its an opportunity to help your kids think about what they heard, even when they are little.
4. It holds parents accountable. A parent is the primary teacher of their children. Being an active part of their spiritual education is even more important than being involved in their extracurriculars and school. Having your kids with you during a service forces the parents to pay attention and set an example for their children. Even when they are younger and have the wiggles, kids are still aware of where they are and what their parents are doing to a degree, and it’s okay to have a busy bag for them to help manage the wiggles. 

What are the Cons of NOT having a Children’s Church?

1. There are going to be distractions. Young kids can’t sit for long periods of time. They are going to want to move around and there will be a degree of noise that comes with that. If you have kids in the services, expectations need to be managed. 
2. Sermons will probably be above their heads. Young kids can’t be expected to understand everything that is in a sermon. Developmentally, they aren’t going to be there; however, the older they get shouldhelp to rectify this particular con.
3. Parents will need to split focus. As I said, a parent is the primary teacher of their children. This means that they need to pay attention to them during the service, which also means that they won’t be paying as much attention to the sermon. 

Now if you haven’t guessed, I’m pro having kids in the service. I don’t have a problem with them making noise, moving, or even running around. I think a lot of the wiggles can be handled by having busy bags that have something in them that relates to the sermon. Another option to help with their wiggles is to do a short children’s sermon. I come to my opinion from two directions. One: I was in the service growing up; my parents didn’t send me to a children’s church, but had me in the service with them, where I entertained myself when I was little and later began to pay more attention and ask questions from the service. Two: my education has really enforced the importance of parents setting examples for their kids in church – both in how to behave, but also in practicing faith congegationally. And for those kids who may not have parents attending with them, they can still learn by other adults taking the initative to set an example, and by the church being welcoming and encouraging them to learn. 

Each church needs to find what meets the needs of their whole congregation. Like I said previously, there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong way to approach this, but churches should be encouraging parents to be actively involved in their children’s spiritual and faith formation, and churches need to be encouraging parents to do this. Even if a children’s church is offered, empowering parents to choose to keep their children with them during services should still be the norm, and the opposite is also true. As long as the parents are involved.