Road Trippin With Rachael

Before we get too far into this blog I want to make a few things clear. 

1. I’m a millenniel, so I’m a part of the demographic leaving
2. I’ve worked with college students, so I’ve worked with the group that is leaving.
3. These are my thoughts on the subject from living in and observing the things that are causing people to leave. 
4. This blog would be far too long if I parsed out every nuance, so it will be pretty general in nature.
5. This is my opinion!

People are leaving….why?

People Are Leaving….Why?

This is just my opinion, but I think we all recognize that people are leaving churches. Specifically, people are noticing that middle and younger millennials are leaving, and that there is a distinct drop off of Gen. Z attending church. As someone who likes to read about trends, listen to the discussion on podcasts, and is a part of the generation that is vacating the the local church, I’ve developed a few thoughts and opinions on why I think this is happening, and I want to share what I’ve observed and what I have noticed. 

The Religious Right

If you were to get your hands on a copy of Os Guinness’ book No Gods But God, you would find a chapter dedicated to how the church, specifically the evangelical church, has equated American Nationalism with Christianity. For the millennial in particular, we have lived through 9/11, the War in Iraq, two housing market crashes, a world wide pandemic, and the flip-flop of political parties with extreme policy differences with no one agreeing on how to handle the pandemic, what could potentially become World War III, and the dropping of a bomb in the Middle East. Unfortunately, media has linked many of these to politics – whether that is true or not – to religious beliefs, and even more unfortunately, some of the loudest voices on the right side of the isle have spoken in ways and with terms that don’t agree with millennial sensibilities due to our collective life experiences. Millennials and Gen Z are particular about our word choices and some of the phrasings that have been used and voices that have spoken loudest haven’t always been the most considerate. This does not mean that these generations do not believe in speaking the truth – we just believe in speaking it kindly. 

To be clear, this is not anything against either political party. What it is against is presenting Christianity as being Republican, or Democratic, or Libertarian, or Green Party,  or Christianity as being American. 

Millennials are tired of having a political party represent our faith, especially when there are issues on both sides of the isle many agree with. In my experience, there are many people my age who are more moderate, but the extreme voices are the ones who are the loudest and have the most influence. 

The Falls From Grace

Another reason I think many millennials are leaving the church is because so many influencial church leaders on the world stage are falling from grace. This is not to say that they were on some pedestal and the millennial faith was shattered due to the sin of one person. What I will say is that the reasons for the consistent falls from grace have damaged many millennials’ and Gen Z’s trust in leadership – with this being most notable in the Evangelical church in the last 5 years, as it was with the Catholic Church during the 1990’s. Reports of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, lack of reporting, and harassment coming to light has many millennials saying “enough is enough” and are choosing to not be affiliated with groups that are willfully connected to those people or entities perpetuating the abuse and/or covering it up.

Even when the abuse happens, when the ministry or other entity comes forward showing that there have been changes made, that steps are being taken to make things better, and the individuals involved are being dealt with appropriately (in some cases this means with the authorities) we are more likely to become involved or remain involved because we can see progress. 

If I were to phrase it simply, I would say that “millennials are willing to forgive if we can see change and progress.”  And I mean more than resolutions – we want active progress that can be measured. Millennials may be characterized by our collective tendency to collaborate, but we’re also changers and want to see that individuals, groups, and organizations are growing in a healthy way. Covering up abuse or telling us to show grace isn’t going to work the same way it did on the Boomers and Gen Xers. 

Gender Roles

The world and society has changed when it comes to the discussion of gender roles. Though this is not meant to be an argument for/against complentarian/egalitarism we do need to consider how people are able to use their spiritual gifts in the ways that they are called to regardless of their biological functions (i.e. women have children). Much work has been done on this topic by minds that are much brighter than mine – please check out Sheila Wray Gregoire’s work. As a millennial woman who has been in the workforce since I was 17, has run an all male office, and who runs her own household, being told I’m either capable or incapable of something that has nothing to do with my biological function without solid biblical support, rubs me the wrong way. In Galatians 5 Paul gives us the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. While Romans 12:6-8, I Corinthians 12;7-10 & 28, and Ephesians 4:11 give us a list of Gifts of the Spirit: Prophecy, Apostles, Evangelism, Teaching, Preaching, Exhortation, Service, Lading, Helping, Administrating, Giving, Faith, and Speaking in/interpreting tongues. These gifts and fruits of the spirit are meant for the Christian to edify the Church and are not designated based on gender in scripture.  

Churches need to stop and consider cultural appropriateness. Christians are to be Christians within their cultures, which is why churches look different from culture to culture. In the same way that fashion, foods, habits, professions change how we view traditional gender roles also needs to change.  If men or women 

Life Stages – Where Do I Fit?

As I’ve already stated, Millennials and Gen Z are collaborative. They want to be able to contribute and work together with others. Because we value personal growth, we also want to be a part of something and form a community with those who are around us. “Doing Life Together” has been the call of many a small group ministry, and that accurately describes the desire of many Millennials and Gen Zers.

However, there are unique challenges for Millennials and Gen Z, that did not exist for those who are a part of the Generation X or the Boomer generations. It is not unique to meet Millennials who are in their later 20’s, 30’s, and even 40’s and yet unmarried – Gen Z is only recently moving into their middle 20’s. When it comes to churches creating small groups or Sunday school classes most will default to creating groups that are based on life stages: College and Career, Young Professionals, Newly Married, Married with Children, Parents of Teens, Older Married, and Widows and Widowers. For those of us, like myself, who are single and without children, but are established in our careers there really isn’t a place for us where we can form community based on our lifestage, and for those that do get in with the married groups and form friendships there are limits to what we can empathize with. As a result, many of us look for places to serve in our churches, but once again many churches look for couples to serve. As a woman, I’ve regularly been encouraged to serve in the children’s area, whether I felt called to work with children or not. It can cause someone to feel isolated if the church doesn’t do a good job of helping people find community and a way to serve.

The result of this isolation is asking “why am I even here?” The result is often that they leave, and after repeated experiences they leave church all together believing that it isn’t for them. I want to be careful with this next statement, because I firmly believe that we shouldn’t forsake gathering together (Hebrews 10:25) and that we need to be with other believers; but I also can’t really blame someone for choosing not to go somewhere they don’t feel welcomed. Specifically speaking as a single Millennial, I’ve experienced not fitting in and struggling to find a place to serve that uses my spiritual gifts without having restrictions placed on me because I’m a single woman. It’s a hard place to be…and it is isolating.

Conclusion

This isn’t a paper of research or some great treatise. It’s a grouping of my thoughts. These are the things I think are leading my generation and the generation following to leave the local church. The saddest part is that if we leave, that means our children won’t even start out with going to church and learning about who God is, and seeing how beautiful the bride of Christ is – and learning that she also has her imperfections.  I don’t have all the answers for how these can change, but I do believe that a lot can be fixed by learning to see from someone else’s point of view, and being aware of how things come across. We can empower Christians to use their gifts regardless of whether they are man or woman, and we can stop equating our political stances with faith.